Last Friday I was supposed to work from home, but I encountered technical difficulties with my laptop. I called our Support Staff and a guy walked me through some steps to fix the problem, but none of his suggestions were working. After ten minutes of trying a certain thing over and over again I realized that part of the problem was that he was telling me to type “something something forward slash something else” and I was instead typing “something something back slash something else.”
That was kind of embarrassing, because I am after all a web designer and also somewhat intelligent, and you’d think that I’d know the difference between a forward slash and a back slash. But here’s a secret: I don’t! I mean: you have \ and you have /. I don’t understand what makes one forward and one back. I guess I can see that this one leans forward: / but doesn’t this one slope forward: \ ? So how do you tell which is which?
My slash confusion is part of a larger problem with my brain. I can’t think visually at all. My boss and I were working on something last week and he pointed out that a certain element on a page wasn’t centered. “It looks centered to me,” I said respectfully. He said, “It’s centered vertically, but it’s not centered horizontally.” I said, “Oh, okay” but I was thinking, “Huh?” It was only through a serendipitous click of the mouse that I was able to get it to look the way he wanted.
Don’t count on me to hold the elevator for you, if it’s an elevator that has symbols on the buttons instead of the more civilized buttons that spell out “Door Close” and “Door Open”. I have to stare at <> and >< a long, long time before figuring out which button will perform which operation. (This is in fact a serious problem for me; ever since I read about a doctor being decapitated by a hospital elevator in Texas a few years ago, I have been pretty freaked out by elevator doors, especially when the kids are with me. I’ll be glad when we can ditch the stroller and use escalators more often. Mallory calls both modes of vertical (is that right, or is it horizontal?) transport “alligators,” by the way.)
And don’t even remind me of the horrible weeks in elementary school that were spent on “greater than” and “less than.” Clearly I knew that 88 is greater than 73; did we have to bring the < and the > into it? And calling it a crocodile’s mouth, while whimsical, did not help much, but thanks anyway, Mrs. Neill.
I think someone else is going to have to be in charge of teaching my kids to drive.
Just Finished Reading
The Prestige by Christopher Priest. Here’s something you don’t hear every day: The movie was better. In fact, I bet when Christopher Priest saw this movie, he thought to himself, “Huh. Why didn’t I think of that?” It wasn’t a bad book, but it had a horrible ending, and lots of loose ends. So, again I say: See the movie! But don’t necessarily buy the book.
That was kind of embarrassing, because I am after all a web designer and also somewhat intelligent, and you’d think that I’d know the difference between a forward slash and a back slash. But here’s a secret: I don’t! I mean: you have \ and you have /. I don’t understand what makes one forward and one back. I guess I can see that this one leans forward: / but doesn’t this one slope forward: \ ? So how do you tell which is which?
My slash confusion is part of a larger problem with my brain. I can’t think visually at all. My boss and I were working on something last week and he pointed out that a certain element on a page wasn’t centered. “It looks centered to me,” I said respectfully. He said, “It’s centered vertically, but it’s not centered horizontally.” I said, “Oh, okay” but I was thinking, “Huh?” It was only through a serendipitous click of the mouse that I was able to get it to look the way he wanted.
Don’t count on me to hold the elevator for you, if it’s an elevator that has symbols on the buttons instead of the more civilized buttons that spell out “Door Close” and “Door Open”. I have to stare at <> and >< a long, long time before figuring out which button will perform which operation. (This is in fact a serious problem for me; ever since I read about a doctor being decapitated by a hospital elevator in Texas a few years ago, I have been pretty freaked out by elevator doors, especially when the kids are with me. I’ll be glad when we can ditch the stroller and use escalators more often. Mallory calls both modes of vertical (is that right, or is it horizontal?) transport “alligators,” by the way.)
And don’t even remind me of the horrible weeks in elementary school that were spent on “greater than” and “less than.” Clearly I knew that 88 is greater than 73; did we have to bring the < and the > into it? And calling it a crocodile’s mouth, while whimsical, did not help much, but thanks anyway, Mrs. Neill.
I think someone else is going to have to be in charge of teaching my kids to drive.
Just Finished Reading
The Prestige by Christopher Priest. Here’s something you don’t hear every day: The movie was better. In fact, I bet when Christopher Priest saw this movie, he thought to himself, “Huh. Why didn’t I think of that?” It wasn’t a bad book, but it had a horrible ending, and lots of loose ends. So, again I say: See the movie! But don’t necessarily buy the book.
Comments
aimee
I had forgotten Mrs. Neill said that- that's great!
Here's one for you though (which shows how little my hubbie helps out in the kitchen): Holly, is the hot to the left or right, because the red sticker is on the left, but is it supposed to be on the left or point to the left?
Holly