One thing I dislike about the holidays is writing thank you notes. When I was little, a few days after Christmas, my mom would sit us all down at the kitchen table with a list of thank you notes to write and not allow us to get up until they were done. Actually it probably wasn't that draconian, but we were expected to get the notes completed without complaints or dawdling. Now, it was good and right and proper for my mom to make us do this, and to instill into us the thank you note habit, but I hated it then and I hate it now too.
The very thought of writing a thank you note just makes me feel weary. My wedding was the worst. I had four different showers, and then the wedding itself, and oh I had such a huge list of thank yous to get through. Deep dark confession: I never finished. I wrote five a night for about a month and then I just stopped. There were ten or twelve names still on the list. Luckily they were mostly people who worked with Chris at his old office and I'll never see them again, but I am still ashamed of myself to think of it. Sorry folks! We did very much appreciate the crystal candlesticks or the flatware set or whatever it was you gave us. Really! Thank you! Sorry!
Now I not only have to write thank you notes for myself, I have to write them for my children as well. I thought for a while that writing notes for the kids might be more fun, as I could adopt their personae and say charming funny things in their stead...but eh, they're still thank you notes and I still hate it. And although I know that Miss Manners has lately said that if you thank someone in person, then you don't necessarily have to write them a note as well...I worry that the gift-giver I'm choosing not to write to on the basis of this rule doesn't KNOW the rule and will still think of me as uncouth and ungrateful if I don't send the note, so I end up either sending a note and feeling all put out and resentful about it, or I don't send it but feel guilty for a year anyway. This etiquette stuff, it's just exhausting.
So, if I owe you a thank you note -- I do apologize. And you can think of me as lazy, but please don't think of me as ungrateful. And whatever you think, don't blame my mother, because she tried, she really did.
The very thought of writing a thank you note just makes me feel weary. My wedding was the worst. I had four different showers, and then the wedding itself, and oh I had such a huge list of thank yous to get through. Deep dark confession: I never finished. I wrote five a night for about a month and then I just stopped. There were ten or twelve names still on the list. Luckily they were mostly people who worked with Chris at his old office and I'll never see them again, but I am still ashamed of myself to think of it. Sorry folks! We did very much appreciate the crystal candlesticks or the flatware set or whatever it was you gave us. Really! Thank you! Sorry!
Now I not only have to write thank you notes for myself, I have to write them for my children as well. I thought for a while that writing notes for the kids might be more fun, as I could adopt their personae and say charming funny things in their stead...but eh, they're still thank you notes and I still hate it. And although I know that Miss Manners has lately said that if you thank someone in person, then you don't necessarily have to write them a note as well...I worry that the gift-giver I'm choosing not to write to on the basis of this rule doesn't KNOW the rule and will still think of me as uncouth and ungrateful if I don't send the note, so I end up either sending a note and feeling all put out and resentful about it, or I don't send it but feel guilty for a year anyway. This etiquette stuff, it's just exhausting.
So, if I owe you a thank you note -- I do apologize. And you can think of me as lazy, but please don't think of me as ungrateful. And whatever you think, don't blame my mother, because she tried, she really did.
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