I don't remember what the worksheet was about -- something to do with math, I'm sure. There were only four problems, and I got them all wrong. I was in second grade and I don't think I'd ever gotten less than a 95 on any paper or test. To be handed back a worksheet with a big red "0" at the top was shocking, to say the least.
Needless to say, I wasn't concerned about my failure to master the material. I wasn't even old enough to worry about how this ZERO would affect my grade point average. No, my only concern, the only thing on my mind, was destroying the evidence so that no one would ever, ever know that I had received the worst grade ever on a paper.
So alarmed was I by the possibility of being discovered that the simple act of tearing the paper up and throwing it in the classroom trash can was Not Good Enough. Instead, I very stealthily, when no one was looking, erased my name from the top of the paper. Using my left hand, I wrote another name, and I'm embarrassed to say that I think the name I used was "Juan." Then I slipped the paper into my pocket. I checked it obsessively during the long minutes left in that school day.
I had piano lessons after school that day, so instead of going to the bus line I had to walk a block to my teacher's music studio. Since I had already broken all the rules by GETTING A ZERO, I chanced walking down the alley rather than following the sidewalk. There, after looking around very carefully to make sure no one was looking, I took the "Juan" worksheet out of my pocket, wadded it up for good measure, and threw it into a big dumpster. Then I ran away, as fast as I could.
My precautions worked. My subterfuge was successful. No one ever knew about THE ZERO.
No one, that is, until today.
Needless to say, I wasn't concerned about my failure to master the material. I wasn't even old enough to worry about how this ZERO would affect my grade point average. No, my only concern, the only thing on my mind, was destroying the evidence so that no one would ever, ever know that I had received the worst grade ever on a paper.
So alarmed was I by the possibility of being discovered that the simple act of tearing the paper up and throwing it in the classroom trash can was Not Good Enough. Instead, I very stealthily, when no one was looking, erased my name from the top of the paper. Using my left hand, I wrote another name, and I'm embarrassed to say that I think the name I used was "Juan." Then I slipped the paper into my pocket. I checked it obsessively during the long minutes left in that school day.
I had piano lessons after school that day, so instead of going to the bus line I had to walk a block to my teacher's music studio. Since I had already broken all the rules by GETTING A ZERO, I chanced walking down the alley rather than following the sidewalk. There, after looking around very carefully to make sure no one was looking, I took the "Juan" worksheet out of my pocket, wadded it up for good measure, and threw it into a big dumpster. Then I ran away, as fast as I could.
My precautions worked. My subterfuge was successful. No one ever knew about THE ZERO.
No one, that is, until today.
Comments
I, too, got a zero in 2nd grade. I forgot to do the backside of a phonics worksheet. I was very shocked. But I think I fessed up.
Amazing the new things you learn about your spouse, even after being married for almost 10 years. You've never told me that story before. Classic.
Mom
Holly