Chris: So how was school today, Mallory?
Mallory: Ooo-kay.
Chris: Good.
Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.
Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?
Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.
Chris: What?
Mallory: A kitty died.
Chris: What kitty?
Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.
Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?
Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?
Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.
Mallory: Oh.
Chris: What’s the second reason?
Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]
Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?
Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.
Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?
Mallory: Dude. Yes.
Chris: And the third reason?
Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.
Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.
Mallory: Dude. She was crying.
Chris: Well, I’m sorry.
Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.
Mallory: Ooo-kay.
Chris: Good.
Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.
Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?
Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.
Chris: What?
Mallory: A kitty died.
Chris: What kitty?
Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.
Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?
Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?
Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.
Mallory: Oh.
Chris: What’s the second reason?
Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]
Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?
Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.
Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?
Mallory: Dude. Yes.
Chris: And the third reason?
Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.
Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.
Mallory: Dude. She was crying.
Chris: Well, I’m sorry.
Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.
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