Communicating with extra-terrestrials might be easier

Chris: So how was school today, Mallory?

Mallory: Ooo-kay.

Chris: Good.

Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.

Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?

Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.

Chris: What?

Mallory: A kitty died.

Chris: What kitty?

Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.

Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?

Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?

Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.

Mallory: Oh.

Chris: What’s the second reason?

Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]

Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?

Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.

Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?

Mallory: Dude. Yes.

Chris: And the third reason?

Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.

Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.

Mallory: Dude. She was crying.

Chris: Well, I’m sorry.

Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Dude, where did she pick that up!!Mom

5:02 PM

aimee said…

So funny! And by funny, I mean really hilarious with a capital H.

6:04 PM

H Noble said…

She really put Chris in his place, huh? :)

10:34 AM

I ask you

This is my garden: Or rather, this is the patch of soil that was my garden last summer. It produced millions of tomatoes, dozens of green peppers, a handful of cucumbers, and two puny watermelons. I do not wish to repeat last summer's vegetable bounty, because most of said bounty went to waste. Nor, however, do I want this patch of soil to remain brown and bare throughout the summer, because it's unattractive. So, what do I plant here, in the shrubbery/flowery vein? Keep in mind that I do not have a green thumb. Also, I don't want to spend a lot of money. Also, this area is in full sun most of the day. And it's really hot. And sometimes we get rabbits. Any advice? To thank you in advance, I give you these goofy photos of my children and their homemade parfaits (which Mallory persisted in calling "specialinis").

It's what's for dinner

One of the things that I failed to appreciate about my mom until I left home is that she always made dinner (although I think we called it supper then), by which I mean, something hot, usually involving a vegetable. I don't remember my mom ever saying sheepishly to her hungry spouse and offspring, "I don't feel like cooking, how about a bowl of cereal?" I hate making dinner. Haaate it. It's my least favorite chore. It's not necessarily because I can't cook. I can usually manage to create something edible, although I have yet to perfect the science of getting, say, the chicken and the broccoli and the rice and the rolls all ready at the same time. (There are those among you who may be surprised that I make and serve broccoli. It's true! It's best when roasted: Toss with olive oil and salt, spread on a baking sheet, put in 400 degree oven for about 8 minutes. It's delicious! Delicious as broccoli can be, at least.) It's also not necessarily t...

the closet

Amy has challenged me to list 8 things that are hidden in the back of my closet. I try not to actually look to closely at the back of my closet, so these are my closest guesses: 1. At least three no-longer-needed diaper bags. 2. An outfit that I've been meaning to return to Land's End for at least six months now. 3. One of our wedding pictures, which has a broken frame which I keep meaning to replace. 4. Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes. 5. Possibly a pair of fuzzy slippers. I miss those fuzzy slippers. Maybe I should brave the mess and go try to find them. 6. Baby blankets. 7. A few small toys that I meant to stick in the girls' Christmas stockings. Maybe next year. 8. And I'm guessing, a bunch of mismatched socks. My closet isn't very interesting, I'm afraid.

Always Remember That

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