Communicating with extra-terrestrials might be easier

Chris: So how was school today, Mallory?

Mallory: Ooo-kay.

Chris: Good.

Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.

Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?

Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.

Chris: What?

Mallory: A kitty died.

Chris: What kitty?

Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.

Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?

Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?

Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.

Mallory: Oh.

Chris: What’s the second reason?

Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]

Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?

Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.

Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?

Mallory: Dude. Yes.

Chris: And the third reason?

Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.

Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.

Mallory: Dude. She was crying.

Chris: Well, I’m sorry.

Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Dude, where did she pick that up!!Mom

5:02 PM

aimee said…

So funny! And by funny, I mean really hilarious with a capital H.

6:04 PM

H Noble said…

She really put Chris in his place, huh? :)

10:34 AM

I ask you

This is my garden: Or rather, this is the patch of soil that was my garden last summer. It produced millions of tomatoes, dozens of green peppers, a handful of cucumbers, and two puny watermelons. I do not wish to repeat last summer's vegetable bounty, because most of said bounty went to waste. Nor, however, do I want this patch of soil to remain brown and bare throughout the summer, because it's unattractive. So, what do I plant here, in the shrubbery/flowery vein? Keep in mind that I do not have a green thumb. Also, I don't want to spend a lot of money. Also, this area is in full sun most of the day. And it's really hot. And sometimes we get rabbits. Any advice? To thank you in advance, I give you these goofy photos of my children and their homemade parfaits (which Mallory persisted in calling "specialinis").

the closet

Amy has challenged me to list 8 things that are hidden in the back of my closet. I try not to actually look to closely at the back of my closet, so these are my closest guesses: 1. At least three no-longer-needed diaper bags. 2. An outfit that I've been meaning to return to Land's End for at least six months now. 3. One of our wedding pictures, which has a broken frame which I keep meaning to replace. 4. Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes. 5. Possibly a pair of fuzzy slippers. I miss those fuzzy slippers. Maybe I should brave the mess and go try to find them. 6. Baby blankets. 7. A few small toys that I meant to stick in the girls' Christmas stockings. Maybe next year. 8. And I'm guessing, a bunch of mismatched socks. My closet isn't very interesting, I'm afraid.

The Golf Course

There was a miniature golf course in my grandparent’s house. There were, in fact, lots of cool-if-kitschy things in my grandparents’ house. There were swinging saloon doors between the kitchen and the master suite. There was a toilet seat made of transparent plastic, with ticket stubs from horse races embedded therein. There was a globe wine bar (pictured!). There was a mounted goat head (the goat was named Bucky) on whose antlers my granddad hung his golf caps. There was a stuffed pheasant whose chest feathers were smooth as silk. There was a kitchen bar of green marbled formica and swively kitchen chairs of red pleather. There was an automatic ice dispenser on the refrigerator, which was a rare and awe-inspiring thing in the 1970’s. There was a mirrored tray holding bejeweled perfume bottles with atomizers in the guest bathroom. There were two huge oil paintings – one of my aunt, with beautifully frosted hair, holding a Pug, one of my older sister as a toddler sitting on a John De...

Always Remember That

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