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Pretty Baby

My boss just returned from a two-week visit with his new grandson. He showed me pictures of the baby and said that he'd laughed at his daughter when she said, "I hate to say this, but I'm relieved that he turned out to be cute!"

I laughed too, but in fact the comment brought back memories of Phoebe as a newborn. Phoebe's first four weeks were really, really hard. (Which is nothing surprising or unusual; I think the first four weeks with any new baby must be hard, and I know I had it easier than many.) She took long, gorgeous three-hour naps during the day, and then was up all night long, often finally falling to sleep at 8 am, right as Mallory was waking up. And you can't nap when the baby naps when you also have a 3-year-old in the house, whose life has been turned upside down and who needs every scrap of attention you can give her. But the worst of it was that breastfeeding was just excruciating until Phoebe was about a month old. I dreaded every feeding; my heart just sank every time she cried because I knew how painful nursing her was going to be. It was a bad, bad time.

And to top it all off, Phoebe developed a really bad case of baby acne, and her face looked just awful for a couple of weeks. There were times when I'd be sitting in the rocking chair with her, gritting my teeth as she ate, or walking her up and down at 4 am trying to get her to sleep, and I'd think, "And you're not even very cute!"

Forgive me, sweetie. I do think you're beautiful now. And it's a good thing too, since you still aren't so good at sleeping.


aimee said…
I'm sorry things were that hard! I wish I would have known although I don't know what I could have done about it, having to deal with 2 kids of my own.

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