Skip to main content

My Unfavorite Things

Because it's that kind of day.

  • The stickers on apples.

  • How very cold it is in my bathroom. We're keeping our thermostat down low to save energy/money, and mostly the house is tolerable if you wear a big sweatshirt, but my bathroom is just frigid. Especially the porcelain toilet seat. Brrr.

  • People who don't understand four-way stops.

  • When your child wakes up whining that she's so siiick and she can't possibly go to schooool today, and then fake-cries pitifully when you tell her to get dressed anyway.

  • When your child then proceeds to throw up everywhere, and then cries that you're so meeean because you didn't belieeeve her that she was sick.

  • Stomach viruses.

  • Mouth noises of any kind. Smacking, slurping, crunching, munching, snoring, gargling, whatever it is, don't do it around me. Often I have to leave my desk for a moment while my cubicle-mates eat their lunches. Gah.

  • Grocery shopping.

  • When a book I really want to read is not available in Kindle format.

  • The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

  • When authors drop startling or confusing facts and then fail to elaborate. For example, whilst researching a paper about Alexander Pope, back in college when I did things like research and write papers, I came across this line: "His sister, who was born with a tail, died young." And that's it. No more information about the sister, or the tail, or why she had a tail, or why people can be born with a tail, or whether or not her having a tail contributed to her early death. Or, in a book about the Terra Nova polar expedition, this line about Apsley Cherry-Garard: "His shivering was so intense that his teeth shattered." Yikes, but there was no follow-up about his teeth. Did all his teeth shatter? Did he have, like, jagged bits of teeth left? How did he eat? How did he not have a constantly bleeding tongue? You can't just say that someone has a tail, or that someone's teeth shattered, and then not follow up on it, you know?

  • When I obsess over silly things like sentences in books I read over ten years ago.

  • Mopping.

  • The fact that every night I swear to myself that I'm going to get up ten minutes earlier the next morning, but each morning the alarm goes off and I just lay there and think, But I'm so tiiiired.

  • My hair.

Comments

aimee said…
I hope that Mallory didn't get sick again did she? Or was that from last time?

I like your unfavorite list.

That book thing would have bothered me too.
5:59 PM
H Noble said…
I went out of turn at a four way stop this morning, in the school zone, and 3 crossing guards and several drivers gave me the evil eye. I was confused b/c the crossing guards had stopped the normal flow of 4-way traffic taking turns and when they cleared the street I thought it was my turn. It wasn't. I apologize Krista.
9:40 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Merry Christmas to Joey, too!

Scene: After the Christmas pageant. Me: You did great, Mallory, we're proud of you! Mallory: What was your favorite part? Me: Hmm. I liked the "Whatcha Gonna Call That Baby?" song. Chris: I liked that one too. Me: But I also liked "Joy to the World." Mallory: Joey in the world? What's that? Me: No, joy to the world, the song you just sang. Mallory: Oh yeah. Me: That's one of my favorite songs. Phoebe: A favorite song is a song that's your favorite and you like it and you sing. (Pause) Phoebe: And you dance. Mallory, before the show, in front of our haphazardly decorated Christmas tree. Phoebe declined to be photographed. All I was able to photograph of the event itself: Phoebe, objecting to the camera's flash: Now she closes her eyes before I snap every picture. Sigh. But she's cute anyway! And so is Mallory! And their dresses match! We're thinking Arby's: Okay, that's it! Recently read: The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife . ...
2 comments
Read more

The Golf Course

There was a miniature golf course in my grandparent’s house. There were, in fact, lots of cool-if-kitschy things in my grandparents’ house. There were swinging saloon doors between the kitchen and the master suite. There was a toilet seat made of transparent plastic, with ticket stubs from horse races embedded therein. There was a globe wine bar (pictured!). There was a mounted goat head (the goat was named Bucky) on whose antlers my granddad hung his golf caps. There was a stuffed pheasant whose chest feathers were smooth as silk. There was a kitchen bar of green marbled formica and swively kitchen chairs of red pleather. There was an automatic ice dispenser on the refrigerator, which was a rare and awe-inspiring thing in the 1970’s. There was a mirrored tray holding bejeweled perfume bottles with atomizers in the guest bathroom. There were two huge oil paintings – one of my aunt, with beautifully frosted hair, holding a Pug, one of my older sister as a toddler sitting on a John De...
7 comments
Read more

Little sisters

Mallory was invited for a sleepover tonight; this morning, as she was packing her suitcase, Phoebe came in and said, "Me too!" When Chris found her suitcase, and gently told her that she wasn't invited to the sleepover, she cried for an hour. I think I'll always have a special sort of sympathy for Phoebe, my second child, because I was the second child too*. (And it's odd, because although I have younger siblings as well, I always think of myself as a little sister, or as the younger older sister, if that makes sense. I think that's because Jana, my big sister, was so good at being the oldest, responsible and, uh, authoritarian, and I am, well, fundamentally irresponsible. We all bowed to her! In a good way. I could never live up to that.) I often feel sorry for Phoebe, left behind while Mallory goes to school all day, because I well remember the long, lonely boring days I spent waiting for Jana to come home from school (not counting the days I spent playing i...
3 comments
Read more