The only drawback to being married to a talented artist is that he sets the bar on doodling for the children way, way too high. Right now, for example, the kids’ bathtub is decorated with a gallery of Sesame Street muppets lovingly rendered in bath crayon. Last night I was giving Phoebe a bath and she picked up a crayon and said, “Draw!” “Yes, Phoebe can draw,” I said. She handed the crayon to me and said, a bit imperiously I thought, “Elmo!” So I sketched an Elmo for her on the side of the tub. She examined my effort, then glanced up at the obviously superior Elmo her daddy had drawn the night before. “Elmo!” she said again, pointing to a blank space on the tub, clearly indicating that I should try again.
Yes, my 16-month-old judged my artwork and found it wanting.
So I did try again. And she looked at Elmo2 and then said, hopefully, “Bi Bir?” I told her I was sorry, I was not capable of drawing Big Bird. “Oh,” she said, sadly. I wrote Big Bird’s name on the tub and she pointed to the letters and sang part of the ABC’s. At least I’m good for something.
Later, Mallory announced that she was very excited about going to bed, because Mary and Joseph were going to bring her a treat while she was sleeping. “What’s that?” I asked. “Mary and Joseph are coming tonight to bring me a treat!” she said. “Who told you that?” I asked. “Mama did!” she said, referring to my mother-in-law. “I’ve never heard of Mary and Joseph bringing treats,” I said, but Mallory was steadfast in her belief that this was going to happen.
After she was asleep, I called Claudia. She said that she absolutely had not told Mallory that Mary and Joseph would bring her a treat. She said I should leave a little something on Mallory’s pillow, so that she wouldn’t be disappointed. Yeah, I said, but what if tomorrow she tells me that the Angel Gabriel is going to come and leave her a candy bar? And the next night, that, I don’t know, Noah is going to bring her a pet lion? This is a slope I do not wish to start slipping down. So I took no action. At 4 am, I heard a little voice say, “Mommy? Can I go check and see what Mary and Joseph left for me?” I said no. And at 7:30, a very sad Mallory came into the bathroom and said, “Well, Mary didn’t leave me nothin’.”
I did find out, however, that yesterday Mallory’s class learned about the Annunication, and that her teacher may have used the phrase, “The Angel had a big surprise for Mary and Joseph.” AND, they also learned about St. Nicholas, whose feast day is December 6, and about how he left treats in the shoes of needy children. AND, I gave Mallory a Tooth Fairy pillow for her birthday, so she’s been thinking a lot about the tooth fairy coming. (She said, rather brilliantly I thought, that “The Tooth Fairy must have a magic TV so she can see what kids have loose teeth.”) So I think all these stories must have conflated in her mind to create the great Mary and Joseph myth.
Maybe I will leave a little something in her shoe tonight, in honor of the real St. Nicholas. I’m a little bit of a sucker after all.
Yes, my 16-month-old judged my artwork and found it wanting.
So I did try again. And she looked at Elmo2 and then said, hopefully, “Bi Bir?” I told her I was sorry, I was not capable of drawing Big Bird. “Oh,” she said, sadly. I wrote Big Bird’s name on the tub and she pointed to the letters and sang part of the ABC’s. At least I’m good for something.
Later, Mallory announced that she was very excited about going to bed, because Mary and Joseph were going to bring her a treat while she was sleeping. “What’s that?” I asked. “Mary and Joseph are coming tonight to bring me a treat!” she said. “Who told you that?” I asked. “Mama did!” she said, referring to my mother-in-law. “I’ve never heard of Mary and Joseph bringing treats,” I said, but Mallory was steadfast in her belief that this was going to happen.
After she was asleep, I called Claudia. She said that she absolutely had not told Mallory that Mary and Joseph would bring her a treat. She said I should leave a little something on Mallory’s pillow, so that she wouldn’t be disappointed. Yeah, I said, but what if tomorrow she tells me that the Angel Gabriel is going to come and leave her a candy bar? And the next night, that, I don’t know, Noah is going to bring her a pet lion? This is a slope I do not wish to start slipping down. So I took no action. At 4 am, I heard a little voice say, “Mommy? Can I go check and see what Mary and Joseph left for me?” I said no. And at 7:30, a very sad Mallory came into the bathroom and said, “Well, Mary didn’t leave me nothin’.”
I did find out, however, that yesterday Mallory’s class learned about the Annunication, and that her teacher may have used the phrase, “The Angel had a big surprise for Mary and Joseph.” AND, they also learned about St. Nicholas, whose feast day is December 6, and about how he left treats in the shoes of needy children. AND, I gave Mallory a Tooth Fairy pillow for her birthday, so she’s been thinking a lot about the tooth fairy coming. (She said, rather brilliantly I thought, that “The Tooth Fairy must have a magic TV so she can see what kids have loose teeth.”) So I think all these stories must have conflated in her mind to create the great Mary and Joseph myth.
Maybe I will leave a little something in her shoe tonight, in honor of the real St. Nicholas. I’m a little bit of a sucker after all.
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