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Worse things

 

Thank you for all your supportive comments yesterday. I guess it is a silly thing to be worked up about. I think what really upset me about it is that I know that IF I could stay home with my kids, I’d be able to keep the diaper dream alive. And this week I’ve just been feeling bad about not being home with them, I think because the new year is approaching and I’m going to have to start working on Fridays again soon. That just makes me sad.

In fact, there’s just a whole list of things, in my mind, that would be better about life in general if I had more time at home with my kids. We’d eat better – we could have real dinners and homemade cookies instead of frozen pizzas and Chips Ahoy. (Although I love me some Chips Ahoy.) The house would not be such a horrible mess I can’t even stand to be in it. We’d read more books together. We could go to the park more often. I could attend all the special events at Mallory’s school. I might even be able to exercise. Maybe Mallory would be less freakin’ clingy. I wouldn’t have to hear about the cute things they do all day from other people because I would be there to see it all myself.

Yeah, I’m feeling a bit down today.

Then again…I have this friend who calls me every day at work, and she always fills me in on Weird News that she comes across. Today she was full of stories about children who were neglected, or abused, or otherwise in bad hands. And it kind of put things in perspective. My kids are healthy and happy and, even when I’m not with them, they are always in the presence of people who love them. So yeah, there are worse things than disposable diapers and working mothers.

I still wish I could stay home. Posted by Picasa

Comments

aimee said…
I wish you could have your wish, but I want to tell you, as a stay-at-home mom, I have the same wants you have. I can't go to Rhett's functions at school because of Noah, I need to take them to the park more often but I feel like there is always something that has to be done. On the other hand, there are times when I say "screw the house or ect." I am playing with my kids, so it is nice to have that option.
You are a wonderful mother and I know your kids know that. You never know, maybe your boss will tell you that you don't need to be in the office on Fridays ever again. Here's hoping....
4:14 PM
Chris said…
Well, for what it's worth, I wish you could stay home more with the girls too. I feel bad that I can't (or haven't been able to) make that happen for you. Although I think we're extrememly blessed to have family watching them, and who we know we can not only trust, but know that they'll be taken care of and loved to the point of nearly being spoiled rotten. As much as it stinks to have to be a two worker household, I still think we're luckier than most. But having said that, I know it's hard, and I'm sorry. You are a great mom, but I also understand the tendency to always feel like you could do more. All we can do is make the most of the time we have together and don't dwell on the time we don't have. It's not perfect, but it's enough. And as Mary Poppins says, "Enough is as good as a feast". Or something.
4:42 PM
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