Skip to main content

On her sleeve, a broken heart

A playdate turned very, very sour for my daughter yesterday; her two friends turned on her, rejected her, went off to another house and told her not to follow. I saw the whole thing and it wasn't Mallory's fault; I would be the last to claim that she's a perfect child, but honestly she did nothing to deserve being treated the way she was. It was a classic case of little girl manipulation and power-tripping. When the one girl said, "We're going to my house, and you're not invited," Mallory simply collapsed. "She's faking," the other girl said. When I stepped in and suggested that they both leave our yard (before I smack the both of you, I did not add), Mallory cried even harder. "Don't leave! I don't want you to leave!" she said, and then, as they left, "No! Let me come with you! I want to play with you! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!" She actually ran down the street after them, wailing and begging them to return. I ran after her, caught her as she was ringing the doorbell to the one girl's house. The girl's dad came to the door, saw Mallory crying, looked at me. "They weren't playing together very well today," I said hastily. I picked Mallory up and carried her home -- honestly, I haven't carried her in two, two and a half years.

We talked about the incident; it's hard to explain to your child that sometimes, people are just not very nice. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang; it was the second girl and her mother, who had seen the chase scene from her front porch. The girl apologized to Mallory. Mallory burst into tears again and gave the girl a big hug. The mom and I said something light-hearted about little girls fighting. (Ha! Ha! Not funny.) They left; I saw it was very nice of the girl to come say sorry. Mallory was quick to point out that the first girl hadn't done the same.

The whole thing makes me terribly sad, but what bothers me most is how transparent Mallory was, how openly emotional. When she dashed down the street, I was thinking not just, oh, my poor child, but also, geez, Mallory, show a little pride! I don't know how to teach her that sometimes it's best to not show your feelings; sometimes it's best to make people think you just don't care.

Later that night, we had dinner at Chris's parent's house. Mallory said she wanted to have a sleepover, and my inlaws said that was fine. But when it was time for me and Chris to leave, she changed her mind. But then she changed her mind again when Phoebe said that she was going to sleep over. Then she started to cry, saying, "If I stay here, I'll miss my mommy, but if I leave, I'll miss my sister!" Chris said it was no big deal, she just needed to choose.

"Do you know what shape my heart is right now?" Mallory asked.

"What?" Chris asked.

"Broken!" Mallory sobbed.

I'm afraid that Chris and I almost choked ourselves, trying not to laugh. But that's Mallory -- dramatic, sensitive, emotions right out there for all to see. I know I just said this in my last post, but I am so dreading her teen years.

Comments

aimee said…
Oh boy. She is like me. I could never hide my emotions. Still can't. And her running down the street reminded me of the scene in the movie Hope Floats when the little girl is running after her daddy and Sandra Bullock has to come get her and carry her back into the house even though her daughter is begging the man who cheated on her to go home with him and not stay with her. I sob everytime.

I am glad one mom (I mean girl) came to apologize.

Girls are mean sometimes.

Sorry for the long comment.

Popular posts from this blog

New Math

This word problem was on Mallory's math homework last week:

Lesia has 32 stickers. Diana has a few stickers. Lesia adds their stickers. She has to regroup when she adds. How many stickers does Lesia have? Circle the number.
3
5
6
8

We puzzled til our puzzlers were sore, but we still couldn't figure out the answer. I wrote a note beside the problem: "Mrs. G., this problem didn't make sense to either Mallory or her parents."

The next day the paper came back with a note from Mrs. G. She circled the last line of the problem and wrote:

"Misprint! This should have said Diana."

Okay! Whew! I was relieved to know that I wasn't, in fact, dumber than a second grader.

Except then I realized that I still didn't understand how the answer could be 3, 5, 6, or 8.*

I can't wait til she gets to algebra.



*Unless what they're calling "regrouping" is what we used to call "carrying the ones." In which case the answer would be 8. I think. Maybe.

Yard Sale. YARD SALE!

Anyone who doesn’t hear Tom-Hanks-as-Woody-the-Cowboy screaming that line…hasn’t spent much time around small children. Or at least around small children who like to watch Disney movies.

We had a yard sale this weekend – we being me, Chris, his sister Amy, and his mom. Yikes, it was exhausting. There was much hauling of boxes and furniture and standing around and chasing Mallory and Phoebe about the driveway all Saturday long. I made a hundred bucks – not too shabby, I guess. Chris made about $75 selling the “dregs” of his toy collection. The main point, however, was to sell our old living room furniture because we’re getting a new sofa and chair today (it’s being delivered as we speak!). We did sell our beat-up love seat for $25, but there were no takers for the beat-up sofa sleeper or the recliner. Alas, but that’s the way it goes.

Most of what I sold was baby stuff – clothes, bouncy seats, playmats, and so forth. It was a relief to see it go. Right after Phoebe was born I had the urg…

Confederation, confederation, confederation

Mallory has a big Social Studies test today. She’s not doing well in Social Studies, this year. When I asked her why her grades were so low, she said, “I don’t like Social Studies. Besides, no one can be good at everything.” I thought this was a fair point, but let her know that it was not acceptable for her to do quite so poorly, whether she liked it or not.

We studied for hours for this test. We read the chapter twice, summarized main points, went over vocabulary words, filled in blanks and did true/false quizzes. There were moments when I despaired – as when I asked, “The villages of the Cherokee people came together to form a...” and she said, “Um...bison?” But I think she knows the material pretty well; honestly I’m not even sure what else we could have done to get her prepared. I told her we would like for her to get at least a B.

I know she’s nervous. I’m nervous for her. I slept poorly all night.

But, I also know more than I really wanted to know about the early peoples of …