Always Remember That

You (meaning Chris) build a (really awesome) car for the Powderpuff Derby: You accompany your daughter to a Girl Scout event in which pet rocks are made to (somehow) teach the girls about being kind to animals: On the first weekend in a long time when you have no Girl Scout activities or birthday parties or snowstorms and all you want to do is sit and read a book and watch the Olympic moments you DVR'd, you instead help your children make Chocolate Sporks and greenish slime And then you're a little excited about going back to work in the morning.

“Mouse is a cat,” Mallory said this morning on the drive to school, referring to Mouse the dog . (Confused yet?) “How so?” I asked. “She likes to jump up on tables, like cats do.” “But Mallory, she can’t be a cat,” Phoebe said. “Her parents were both dogs, so she has to be a dog too.” “I know she’s not really a cat,” Mallory said, “but she acts like a cat.” Then she asked: “When did Mouse’s mom and dad get married?” “They’re not married, honey,” I said, “they’re dogs.” “Yeah, but don’t you have to be married to have a baby?” “Well, people do,” I said [not adding: in most cases]. “But dogs don’t get married.” “Then how does the mommy dog get pregnant?” “Well, they mate,” I said. “Ewwww!” the girls shrieked in unison. “It’s what has to happen,” I said. “Gross,” Mallory said. Then: “Where did they go?” “Pardon?” I said. “Where did they go, on their date?” “I didn’t know dogs could go on dates,” Phoebe added. “No, not date . They don’t go on a date, they ma...

Chris’s grandmother – his dad’s mother – died on Friday. She had Alzheimer’s Disease; I think Chris and Amy and their dad probably came to terms with her loss many years ago, when the disease took hold. Strangely enough, without even knowing how ill she was at the time, Chris and Amy had a long conversation about Grandma Francus the night before she died; they told Mallory and Phoebe some funny stories about their visits with her in Chicago when they were kids. Chris has a theory that most people have one set of “fun” grandparents and one set of “proper” grandparents; the Francuses were the fun ones in his family. (The fun ones in mine were the ones with the golf course in their house. Naturally.) It’s sad that our girls never knew Grandma Francus; it’s sad that, as Chris said, “I have no grandparents left now.” I wish I could think of a better ending than the old cliché that she’s now “in a better place.” I’m not even sure if that’s true; but I hope it is, and I hope she rests in p...

Every morning when I take Phoebe to preschool, she asks me to stay for a minute to help her with something -- to hold a stencil while she traces a picture, to read a story, to do a puzzle. On days when this annoys me -- days when we're running a bit late, days when I need to rush off to work -- I remind myself that I only have a few more months of being the mother of a preschooler, and that I should chill out and enjoy these moments while they last. Anyway, this morning she asked me to help her with an alphabet puzzle. "I need something that begins with m," she said, sorting through the pieces, and then she held up one with a question mark on it. "Here we go!" she said. "I don't think that starts with m," I said. "Yes it does!" she said. "Are you sure?" I said. "Yes...for M ystery!" she said. She is apparently going to have to take a screening test to gain admission to Kindergarten. I'm not too worried.

Scene One: A convenience store restroom in Vicksburg, Mississippi, which, it is discovered at the last minute, is out of toilet paper. Me: You're going to have to use paper towels, I guess. Mallory: That's a really bad idea. Me: It's not ideal, I agree, but I don't see a choice. Mallory: No, but listen. Do you remember one day when I was in first grade and they had to close the whole school before lunch because the pipes broke? Me:...Yes, I do remember that. Mallory: Well, it's because someone flushed paper towels down the toilet. Me: Really? Mallory: A LOT of paper towels. To see what would happen. Me: Well, that wasn't very smart. Mallory: Do you want to know who it was that did that? Me: Yes? Maybe? Mallory: Yeah, it was me. But don't tell anyone -- nobody knows that but you. Scene Two: Driving home from a preschool birthday party, at which I discovered that one of Phoebe's classmates had been expelled due to bullying. Me: ...

Mallory: Mommy, I have to do a project on a president. Me: What kind of project? Mallory: I have to choose a president and find out stuff about him. But it can't be Abraham Lincoln or . . . or some other guy. Me: George Washington? Mallory: Yeah, George Washington. Me: So who are you going to pick? Mallory: I think I'll pick Barack Obama. Me: Good choice. Mallory: Or, no, actually I think I'll pick the one...what's his name? The guy who invented something to kill the germs in milk? Me: ...Do you mean Louis Pasteur? Mallory: Yeah, him. Me: Honey, he wasn't a president. Mallory: He wasn't? Me: No...he wasn't even American. Mallory: Huh. Well, I guess Barack Obama is it, then. Me: I guess so.

I did not know this, but Raleigh has an annual Groundhog Day celebration with our very own groundhog, whose name is…Sir Walter Wally. Which is a bit embarrassing. Apparently this year he disagreed with Punxatawney Phil and predicted that our winter is coming to an end. Take that, rest of the country! My watch is broken. I want a new watch, because I hate going watchless. Then again, who really needs a watch anymore? There are clocks on all the various electronic gadgets we carry around with us. (In my bag right now there are three – ipod, e-reader, phone.) So I don’t really need a watch. I just want one. I like this one. It’s an odd choice for me. Since when do I like butterflies? But it’s expensive. (I’ve never paid more than $19.99 for a watch. Which reminds me of a funny story. My mom got me a watch for Christmas one year. Christmas morning, I opened it up and then couldn’t figure out how to set it. I handed it to my dad for help. He looked at it and then said, “Where’s the in...