I "worked from home" last Friday, and indeed will either work from home or be off work completely every Friday through the end of the year, thanks to an accomodating boss and my clever hoarding of my paid time off. This allows me to stay home with the girls and gives my inlaws, who watch them the other four days of the week, a day to themselves which I'm sure they sorely need.
On the one hand I'm grateful to my accomodating boss and my abundance of paid time off which makes this arrangement possible. On the other hand I kind of resent the fact that I have to hoard my time off and negotiate working from home. (I'm supposed to be "discreet" about it.) The company I work for, which I shall not name, has been good to me in many ways, but they are really behind the times as far as bringing family-friendly options to the workplace. I have a web-based job, I don't physically need to be in the office building on most days -- why can't I work from home whenever I choose? And why must I still report to work at a certain time and clock in a certain number of hours before I can go home, five days every week? Studies have shown (studies which I am too lazy to find now) that productivity increases when workers are allowed freedom over their schedules, are allowed to telecommute, are allowed to work compressed workweeks. There's nothing magic about the 8-hour day. People should work until they're done and then go home.
This is a subject that deserves a lot more eloquence than I can devote to it now, but what really angers me about the "mommy wars" is that we're fighting the wrong people. Women shouldn't judge one another for staying at home or for going back to work; women should judge a society that provides one of the worst maternal (and paternal!) leave programs in the world. In Canada and in most European countries, women get maternity leave of a year or more, and can then choose from quality subsidized child care programs when they get ready to go back to work. Here, women are lucky to get six measly weeks, which is often unpaid, and then usually get to choose between substandard day care or spending the equivalent of a mortgage payment for mediocre to decent child care. Family values? Where? So, in a rare burst of activism, last week I signed this petition (and then ordered a t-shirt!) because this is certainly a cause I can get behind. We need to change this system!
A few years ago, my mom asked me if I would stay at home if it were financially possible. The word "No" flew out of my mouth before I could even think about it. Then I felt horribly guilty (still do, in fact). I hate leaving my kids every day. I know that they're safe and happy and well-cared-for (thanks -- enormous thanks -- to my awesome and generous inlaws), but I also know that I'm their very favorite person in the world (and it will be both a relief and a tragedy when that's no longer the case) and that they'd rather be with me if they had their choice. I also recognize that I might lose my mind if I stayed home with them every day. (Although -- because this paragraph needs another parenthetical aside -- I also wonder if that's quite true. As it is now, because I work, when I am at home I'm always trying to do fourteen things at once. Playing with the kids, but also squeezing in laundry and cleaning and cooking and so forth. If I was at home I'd have more time for all that stuff, so maybe our time together wouldn't be quite so chaotic. Or maybe it would be chaotic all the time. I just don't know.) My preference would be to work part-time -- three days a week, say; or even five mornings a week. I just wish we could figure out a way to make that possible, financially speaking.
I have lots more to say on this topic but I, um, have work to do.
ART for the Day
Phoebe's laugh. I can't describe it, but it's the funniest thing in the world.
On the one hand I'm grateful to my accomodating boss and my abundance of paid time off which makes this arrangement possible. On the other hand I kind of resent the fact that I have to hoard my time off and negotiate working from home. (I'm supposed to be "discreet" about it.) The company I work for, which I shall not name, has been good to me in many ways, but they are really behind the times as far as bringing family-friendly options to the workplace. I have a web-based job, I don't physically need to be in the office building on most days -- why can't I work from home whenever I choose? And why must I still report to work at a certain time and clock in a certain number of hours before I can go home, five days every week? Studies have shown (studies which I am too lazy to find now) that productivity increases when workers are allowed freedom over their schedules, are allowed to telecommute, are allowed to work compressed workweeks. There's nothing magic about the 8-hour day. People should work until they're done and then go home.
This is a subject that deserves a lot more eloquence than I can devote to it now, but what really angers me about the "mommy wars" is that we're fighting the wrong people. Women shouldn't judge one another for staying at home or for going back to work; women should judge a society that provides one of the worst maternal (and paternal!) leave programs in the world. In Canada and in most European countries, women get maternity leave of a year or more, and can then choose from quality subsidized child care programs when they get ready to go back to work. Here, women are lucky to get six measly weeks, which is often unpaid, and then usually get to choose between substandard day care or spending the equivalent of a mortgage payment for mediocre to decent child care. Family values? Where? So, in a rare burst of activism, last week I signed this petition (and then ordered a t-shirt!) because this is certainly a cause I can get behind. We need to change this system!
A few years ago, my mom asked me if I would stay at home if it were financially possible. The word "No" flew out of my mouth before I could even think about it. Then I felt horribly guilty (still do, in fact). I hate leaving my kids every day. I know that they're safe and happy and well-cared-for (thanks -- enormous thanks -- to my awesome and generous inlaws), but I also know that I'm their very favorite person in the world (and it will be both a relief and a tragedy when that's no longer the case) and that they'd rather be with me if they had their choice. I also recognize that I might lose my mind if I stayed home with them every day. (Although -- because this paragraph needs another parenthetical aside -- I also wonder if that's quite true. As it is now, because I work, when I am at home I'm always trying to do fourteen things at once. Playing with the kids, but also squeezing in laundry and cleaning and cooking and so forth. If I was at home I'd have more time for all that stuff, so maybe our time together wouldn't be quite so chaotic. Or maybe it would be chaotic all the time. I just don't know.) My preference would be to work part-time -- three days a week, say; or even five mornings a week. I just wish we could figure out a way to make that possible, financially speaking.
I have lots more to say on this topic but I, um, have work to do.
ART for the Day
Phoebe's laugh. I can't describe it, but it's the funniest thing in the world.
Comments
And, it still is chaotic. There are days I get nothing done, and I just don't know why. And it makes me feel guilty because I think that since I stay at home, I should be better at getting the house cleaned, ect. Why do women feel guilty about their choices?
I'm definately checking out the petition because one day I hope to have kids and not feel guilty about my choices!