Skip to main content

Scenes from a Wedding

Several weekends ago, our little family traveled to historic Belmont, North Carolina, to attend the wedding of some friends. The wedding itself was lovely and featured the most original entertainment I’ve ever beheld at a matrimonial event. It was, however, the comments of my children that made the event truly worthwhile (that seems to be the case with most things, actually). For example:

Mallory showed her deep love of hotels by taking a deep breath and exclaiming, every time we entered the lobby: “Smell that hotel goodness!”

Whilst driving through the unfamiliar streets of Belmont on the way to the rehearsal dinner, Mallory spied a Burger King. “Ugh!” she said. “I hate Burger King fries!”

“Yeah!” said Chris, agreeing heartily. “Burger King fries are the worst.”

“They’re yucky!” Mallory said.

“They’re disgusting!” Chris added.

“Actually,” Phoebe interjected, “I like Burger King onion rings.”

“Now the onion rings are okay,” Chris conceded.

“Yeah, but not the fries. Ewww,” Mallory said.

“Their burgers aren’t too bad,” Chris said.

“Yeah, what I like to do?” Mallory said, “I like to get a burger at Burger King and then go to McDonald’s for fries. Cause they have the best fries.”

“When have you ever done that?” I asked, rather stupefied by this display of fast-food connoisseurship.

“Oh, you know,” Mallory said vaguely. A few minutes later, she said, “You know what? Every girl in my class likes Hannah Montana except for Jane.”

“I bet Jane likes Burger King fries,” Chris said without missing a beat, and Mallory laughed her head off.




Upon arrival at the rehearsal dinner, we gave the kids a mini-talking-to about our expectations for their behavior. “It was very nice of Millie and Warren to invite us to this dinner,” I said, “so you both need to use good manners and act nice. Understand?”

They understood. We went in the restaurant, we mingled, we found our seats. A waitress approached and asked if we needed drinks. “I’d like an iced tea, please,” said Mallory, and then said, “Thank you very much” when she received it. I patted her on the shoulder and smiled to show her I approved of her manners. She leaned over and whispered, “You wanted a good attitude? Well there you go.”




Phoebe developed an irrational fear of the painting in our bathroom:



We had to cover it with a towel for the duration of our stay.




Mallory, for her part, developed a Howard-Hughes-ish fear of germs. “Is this a real glass?” she asked at the restaurant, pointing to her drink. I said yes. “Do you think it’s a new glass?” she asked. I said likely not. “Well, I’m not drinking out of a glass that other people have used,” she said, pushing it away. The next morning at our complimentary hotel-lobby breakfast, she looked approvingly at the paper plates and cups. “This is the kind of restaurant I like,” she said.




When I emerged in my wedding finery, Phoebe gasped and pointed at my legs. "Mommy, what are those?" she asked in great concern, and I explained the concept of pantyhose. We obviously don't get out much.




The girls in their finery. Phoebe being uncooperative as usual.






“That was a nice wedding, wasn’t it?” I asked when it was over.

“Yeah,” Mallory said. “Someday I’m going to get married, you know.”

“That’ll be nice,” I said.

“But I’m not marrying a boy,” she added.

“Oh? Why not?”

“Mommy. Do you really think I want to marry someone who pees standing up? Gross!”

I could think of no suitable response to that one.

Comments

aimee said…
That was the best "Scenes from a wedding" I have ever read. :)

Popular posts from this blog

Whew

When they called Pennsylvania, I knew. When they called Ohio, I knew for sure. But I still got chills up and down my spine when they called it for good. And I have tears in my eyes every time I think of his speech. Last night, I attempted to explain to Mallory why this was such a big deal. (This was after a rather undignified few minutes during which she, Phoebe and I danced around the living room chanting Go-bama, Go-bama!) I tried to explain that not so many years ago, black people couldn't even vote, much less become president. She looked at me in great perplexity. She didn't get it. She didn't get racial prejudice. And now...well, it's not that I believe for a second that she and Phoebe will grow up in a world where prejudice doesn't exist. But they do live in a country where, for one election, it was transcended. This is their world now, and their history being made, and I...I'm just elated.

Crafty Update

I've made a whopping total of two things this summer. A puppy for Phoebe's birthday: And a cell phone case for me: The case needs a bit of tweaking; I'm not happy with the strap. But it was way easier than making a stuffed animal, I'll tell you that much. The girls were on etsy with me last night looking at crochet patterns. Now I have a list of requests a mile long. I'm not sure when I'll have time to get to these new projects, but I'll keep you posted. Because I know you care.

File under: stupid problems to have

I'm going to see Wicked (the musical) in May with my sister- and mother-in-law. I'm excited; I like musicals. In anticipation, I downloaded the soundtrack a few days ago and have been listening to it continually on my ipod ever since. I read Wicked (the book) back when it first came out, but didn't remember much of the plot. So in order to understand what happens in the gaps between the songs in the musical, I turned to wikipedia for a plot summary. Then I clicked over to the synposis of the book to see how it differed from the musical. Reading about the book made me realize that I had pretty much forgotten all of the book. In fact, to be honest, what I remember about the book was that I found it a bit dull. A bit long. A bit too much about the politics of an imaginary country. A bit too full of unsympathetic characters. And then, I remember, I read the author's next book (a retelling of the Cinderella story) and didn't like it much at all. So I never even cons