Ask not for whom the cookie crumbles

I should have known, when I complained about having to make cookies for Mallory's classroom birthday treat, and then rejected someone's well-intentioned advice to send store-bought cookies on the grounds that homemade cookies were better -- I should have known that I would get my comeuppance. Comeuppance rarely thinks of the children.

Mallory looked through the cookie cookbook and selected refrigerator cookies. You know, butter, sugar, you make the dough, shape it into rolls, refrigerate it, and then slice it up and you get:

Except what I got was:

I couldn't send these misshapen blobs, these wafer-thin crepe-like objects, to school with Mallory. So I tried again. Chocolate chip cookies, with holiday M&Ms for added flair.

They, too, were disappointingly flat and crispy:

This happens to all my cookies, in fact. They spread too much, they flatten out, and in two days they're crumbly and dry as dust. Today I did some assiduous googling and discovered that my problem is butter. I need to either melt the butter, instead of softening it, or I need to use shortening instead. I have tried to eschew shortening on the grounds that it's unhealthy, but please, butter isn't exactly good for you, and honestly, it's a cookie. So I know what to do next time I feel the urge to whip up a batch.

Although you have no idea how much it is costing me not to make another batch of cookies for Mallory's class, armed with my new knowledge. It is only the knowledge that this is for a bunch of first-graders, who will only care about the fact that they're getting a free cookie, that is stopping me from firing up the oven right now. (Well, that and the fact that I am firing up the oven right now to make Mallory's birthday cake. And yes, I could have bought that at the store too, so watch this space.)

On the other hand, to prove that I'm not completely hopeless in the kitchen, these turned out very well:


Anonymous said...

I still think that it has something to do with altitude. I use butter almost exclusively in my cookies, and they don't turn out flat and dry. Maybe there is something in Crisco that alleviates the effect of altitude. Let me know how that turns out.


aimee said...

Here is my advice that I read somewhere (I know, you didn't ask):

mix the butter and sugar (or Crisco and sugar) a lot, for about 4 or 5 minutes. When you add the dry ingredients though, do not mix that much. Only mix slowly until it is all incorporated.

I have found if you bake at a lower temp for longer, my cookies have turned out much thicker.

Hope that helps.

And your cinnamon rolls look delicious!

MomofK9s said...

And this is why I buy my cookies in a roll! You are such a trooper! I am not. I am all for the easy way!