Communicating with extra-terrestrials might be easier

Chris: So how was school today, Mallory?

Mallory: Ooo-kay.

Chris: Good.

Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.

Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?

Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.

Chris: What?

Mallory: A kitty died.

Chris: What kitty?

Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.

Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?

Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?

Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.

Mallory: Oh.

Chris: What’s the second reason?

Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]

Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?

Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.

Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?

Mallory: Dude. Yes.

Chris: And the third reason?

Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.

Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.

Mallory: Dude. She was crying.

Chris: Well, I’m sorry.

Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.


Anonymous said...

Dude, where did she pick that up!!Mom

aimee said...

So funny! And by funny, I mean really hilarious with a capital H.

H Noble said...

She really put Chris in his place, huh? :)