Communicating with extra-terrestrials might be easier

Chris: So how was school today, Mallory?

Mallory: Ooo-kay.

Chris: Good.

Mallory: Dude. Did you notice how I said ooo-kay? That means it wasn’t a good day at all.

Chris: Oh. Sorry. Why wasn’t it a good day?

Mallory: There are three reasons. And the first reason is something that makes ME sad but will probably make YOU happy.

Chris: What?

Mallory: A kitty died.

Chris: What kitty?

Mallory: A kitten that Mimi was taking care of. It died, and you’re probably glad.

Chris: I’m not glad that a kitten died! Why would that make me glad?

Mallory: Dude. You’re allergic to cats, right?

Chris: Well yeah, and that means I don’t want a cat in our house, but it doesn’t mean that I’m happy if one dies.

Mallory: Oh.

Chris: What’s the second reason?

Mallory: [some long story about how some of her friends got in trouble at school for leaving choir practice early, the details of which made no sense at all]

Chris: But you didn’t get in trouble, right?

Mallory: Dude. I would have told you if I got in trouble. I didn’t get in trouble because they were going really fast and I am very, very slow.

Chris: So your lack of speed saved you from getting into trouble?

Mallory: Dude. Yes.

Chris: And the third reason?

Mallory: My best friend is sad because her dad has been gone all week and he won’t be back until Friday.

Chris: Well, it’s Wednesday night, so she should be happy, because the week is almost over.

Mallory: Dude. She was crying.

Chris: Well, I’m sorry.

Mallory: And did you notice? When I say Dude, I mean it with a capital letter. Duh-ude.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Dude, where did she pick that up!!Mom

5:02 PM

aimee said…

So funny! And by funny, I mean really hilarious with a capital H.

6:04 PM

H Noble said…

She really put Chris in his place, huh? :)

10:34 AM

A Picture Post

A poster Chris drew for the annual Harvest Day Bake Sale, proceeds to benefit Mallory's preschool: A poster Chris drew for Mallory's class. What did Phoebe say when she saw it? "El-mo!" She's good at spotting that little red monster, even when he's not red. Our beautiful new chair! Which actually matches our beautiful new couch! Phoebe looking pretty. Mallory looking goofy. My girls.

The Golf Course

There was a miniature golf course in my grandparent’s house. There were, in fact, lots of cool-if-kitschy things in my grandparents’ house. There were swinging saloon doors between the kitchen and the master suite. There was a toilet seat made of transparent plastic, with ticket stubs from horse races embedded therein. There was a globe wine bar (pictured!). There was a mounted goat head (the goat was named Bucky) on whose antlers my granddad hung his golf caps. There was a stuffed pheasant whose chest feathers were smooth as silk. There was a kitchen bar of green marbled formica and swively kitchen chairs of red pleather. There was an automatic ice dispenser on the refrigerator, which was a rare and awe-inspiring thing in the 1970’s. There was a mirrored tray holding bejeweled perfume bottles with atomizers in the guest bathroom. There were two huge oil paintings – one of my aunt, with beautifully frosted hair, holding a Pug, one of my older sister as a toddler sitting on a John De...

Merry Christmas to Joey, too!

Scene: After the Christmas pageant. Me: You did great, Mallory, we're proud of you! Mallory: What was your favorite part? Me: Hmm. I liked the "Whatcha Gonna Call That Baby?" song. Chris: I liked that one too. Me: But I also liked "Joy to the World." Mallory: Joey in the world? What's that? Me: No, joy to the world, the song you just sang. Mallory: Oh yeah. Me: That's one of my favorite songs. Phoebe: A favorite song is a song that's your favorite and you like it and you sing. (Pause) Phoebe: And you dance. Mallory, before the show, in front of our haphazardly decorated Christmas tree. Phoebe declined to be photographed. All I was able to photograph of the event itself: Phoebe, objecting to the camera's flash: Now she closes her eyes before I snap every picture. Sigh. But she's cute anyway! And so is Mallory! And their dresses match! We're thinking Arby's: Okay, that's it! Recently read: The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife . ...

Always Remember That

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