Skip to main content

Maybe she should put it in the dumster

So there's this busybody woman right down our street who set up a neighborhood email list and is constantly reminding us all to be sure to keep our gutters clean and paint our front stoops, the better to keep everyone's property values up. She organizes Neighborhood Beautification Days, she collects money for tulip bulbs for the front entrances, she complains about people who don't come to a complete stop at the stop sign right by her house.

I studiously ignore all her emails because we chose our neighborhood specifically because it did not have a Home Owners Association. No one's gonna tell us how short to keep our grass, thank you very much. I stay on the email list, however, because sometimes other people send out useful information (black dog found on this street; car broken into Thursday night; etc.).

I was, however, really irritated when she sent out an email at the end of October saying how crazy it was that our town had officially announced that Trick or Treating was to take place on Sunday, October 31. "Trick or treating on Sunday doesn't make sense!?!" she said. "Doesn't everyone agree that it we should do it on Saturday instead?!?"

It was all the trebled punctuation that did me in, and although I am generally content to live and let live, this time I shot back an email without thinking twice: "Can you tell me why exactly you think it's crazy to go trick or treating on October 31, which is the actual day of Halloween?" I said. For a few days there was no response; then she sent another email that said: "The votes are in! Trick or treating on Sunday!" which really set me off again because it wasn't a vote, you don't vote on something that's already on the calendar.

And tonight, well, tonight she sent out an email that said:

"My sons hampster died last week; if anyone needs hampster bedding come and get it!"

I think we need to move.

Comments

Chris said…
Maybe I accisentally killed the hampster when I stuffed my dirty clothes into it....
Chris said…
If it wants to legalize pot would it be a hempster? Ok, I'll stop.
Karen said…
Maybe they will get a rabid to replace it!?!
Karen said…
Maybe they will get a rabid to replace it!?!
aimee said…
We also had Halloween on Sunday, but our friends in OKC did not. Why? Football. No kidding.

Anyway...your neighbor sounds wonderfully annoying. Maybe she needs to move to a neighborhood with HOA and all that jazz.

Our neighborhood fines you if you leave your trashcan where it can be seen from the street. Whatevah!

Popular posts from this blog

New Math

This word problem was on Mallory's math homework last week:

Lesia has 32 stickers. Diana has a few stickers. Lesia adds their stickers. She has to regroup when she adds. How many stickers does Lesia have? Circle the number.
3
5
6
8

We puzzled til our puzzlers were sore, but we still couldn't figure out the answer. I wrote a note beside the problem: "Mrs. G., this problem didn't make sense to either Mallory or her parents."

The next day the paper came back with a note from Mrs. G. She circled the last line of the problem and wrote:

"Misprint! This should have said Diana."

Okay! Whew! I was relieved to know that I wasn't, in fact, dumber than a second grader.

Except then I realized that I still didn't understand how the answer could be 3, 5, 6, or 8.*

I can't wait til she gets to algebra.



*Unless what they're calling "regrouping" is what we used to call "carrying the ones." In which case the answer would be 8. I think. Maybe.

Yard Sale. YARD SALE!

Anyone who doesn’t hear Tom-Hanks-as-Woody-the-Cowboy screaming that line…hasn’t spent much time around small children. Or at least around small children who like to watch Disney movies.

We had a yard sale this weekend – we being me, Chris, his sister Amy, and his mom. Yikes, it was exhausting. There was much hauling of boxes and furniture and standing around and chasing Mallory and Phoebe about the driveway all Saturday long. I made a hundred bucks – not too shabby, I guess. Chris made about $75 selling the “dregs” of his toy collection. The main point, however, was to sell our old living room furniture because we’re getting a new sofa and chair today (it’s being delivered as we speak!). We did sell our beat-up love seat for $25, but there were no takers for the beat-up sofa sleeper or the recliner. Alas, but that’s the way it goes.

Most of what I sold was baby stuff – clothes, bouncy seats, playmats, and so forth. It was a relief to see it go. Right after Phoebe was born I had the urg…

Confederation, confederation, confederation

Mallory has a big Social Studies test today. She’s not doing well in Social Studies, this year. When I asked her why her grades were so low, she said, “I don’t like Social Studies. Besides, no one can be good at everything.” I thought this was a fair point, but let her know that it was not acceptable for her to do quite so poorly, whether she liked it or not.

We studied for hours for this test. We read the chapter twice, summarized main points, went over vocabulary words, filled in blanks and did true/false quizzes. There were moments when I despaired – as when I asked, “The villages of the Cherokee people came together to form a...” and she said, “Um...bison?” But I think she knows the material pretty well; honestly I’m not even sure what else we could have done to get her prepared. I told her we would like for her to get at least a B.

I know she’s nervous. I’m nervous for her. I slept poorly all night.

But, I also know more than I really wanted to know about the early peoples of …