Maybe she should put it in the dumster

So there's this busybody woman right down our street who set up a neighborhood email list and is constantly reminding us all to be sure to keep our gutters clean and paint our front stoops, the better to keep everyone's property values up. She organizes Neighborhood Beautification Days, she collects money for tulip bulbs for the front entrances, she complains about people who don't come to a complete stop at the stop sign right by her house.

I studiously ignore all her emails because we chose our neighborhood specifically because it did not have a Home Owners Association. No one's gonna tell us how short to keep our grass, thank you very much. I stay on the email list, however, because sometimes other people send out useful information (black dog found on this street; car broken into Thursday night; etc.).

I was, however, really irritated when she sent out an email at the end of October saying how crazy it was that our town had officially announced that Trick or Treating was to take place on Sunday, October 31. "Trick or treating on Sunday doesn't make sense!?!" she said. "Doesn't everyone agree that it we should do it on Saturday instead?!?"

It was all the trebled punctuation that did me in, and although I am generally content to live and let live, this time I shot back an email without thinking twice: "Can you tell me why exactly you think it's crazy to go trick or treating on October 31, which is the actual day of Halloween?" I said. For a few days there was no response; then she sent another email that said: "The votes are in! Trick or treating on Sunday!" which really set me off again because it wasn't a vote, you don't vote on something that's already on the calendar.

And tonight, well, tonight she sent out an email that said:

"My sons hampster died last week; if anyone needs hampster bedding come and get it!"

I think we need to move.


Chris said...

Maybe I accisentally killed the hampster when I stuffed my dirty clothes into it....

Chris said...

If it wants to legalize pot would it be a hempster? Ok, I'll stop.

Karen said...

Maybe they will get a rabid to replace it!?!

Karen said...

Maybe they will get a rabid to replace it!?!

aimee said...

We also had Halloween on Sunday, but our friends in OKC did not. Why? Football. No kidding.

Anyway...your neighbor sounds wonderfully annoying. Maybe she needs to move to a neighborhood with HOA and all that jazz.

Our neighborhood fines you if you leave your trashcan where it can be seen from the street. Whatevah!