Amy hosted a jewelry party a few weeks ago and I bought this ring:
(It's hard to take a good picture of your own hand.)
The ring is kind of gaudy and flashy and totally unlike anything else I own. It probably doesn't look that good on my short stubby fingers or with my standard outfit of a long-sleeved v-neck t-shirt and khaki pants.
But I've still been wearing it every day, and every time I see it, I feel pretty.
I don't feel pretty very often. And I've realized that when you don't feel that pretty, you can get into a spiral of habits that make you feel even less pretty. I hate all my clothes, but I don't want to buy new clothes on the off chance that I might lose weight. Or I should find a new way to do my makeup, but what's the point when I just sit in my cubicle all day. And there are other issues: I should exercise, but that would take time away from the kids. Or I should go to a real hairdresser and get a real hairstyle, but that would be expensive, and the kids need new shoes. Or I should eat better, but what's the point of cooking healthy meals when no one else in the house will eat them.
I haven't really made taking care of myself a priority, for the past several years.
But when I look at this ring, I start to feel like I might be the kind of person who deserves to feel like she deserves to wear a ring like this.
And maybe that's a good place to start.
(It's hard to take a good picture of your own hand.)
The ring is kind of gaudy and flashy and totally unlike anything else I own. It probably doesn't look that good on my short stubby fingers or with my standard outfit of a long-sleeved v-neck t-shirt and khaki pants.
But I've still been wearing it every day, and every time I see it, I feel pretty.
I don't feel pretty very often. And I've realized that when you don't feel that pretty, you can get into a spiral of habits that make you feel even less pretty. I hate all my clothes, but I don't want to buy new clothes on the off chance that I might lose weight. Or I should find a new way to do my makeup, but what's the point when I just sit in my cubicle all day. And there are other issues: I should exercise, but that would take time away from the kids. Or I should go to a real hairdresser and get a real hairstyle, but that would be expensive, and the kids need new shoes. Or I should eat better, but what's the point of cooking healthy meals when no one else in the house will eat them.
I haven't really made taking care of myself a priority, for the past several years.
But when I look at this ring, I start to feel like I might be the kind of person who deserves to feel like she deserves to wear a ring like this.
And maybe that's a good place to start.
Comments
I am glad you bought it and wear it. Because you do deserve to feel pretty and special. And, really, you are those things. Pretty and special, I mean.
Sometimes it is hard to make one's self a priority, but you should do it occasionally.
Mom
You don't need that ring to be pretty, you're gorgeous already. You may not feel it, but you are. At least, I think so. I can't explain or understand why you don't feel that way, but self image is a tricky thing. I'm certainly not going to be on the cover of GQ anytime soon. No one's keeping you from getting a new hairdo, or anything else you want except for you. So stop holding yourself back and assuming you're not worth it. And if you're having feelings like this, try, you know, communicating once in awhile. I'd much rather find out about how you feel from you directly, and not a blog. I feel out of touch when I read things like this, and I don't like feeling that way. It's not like I'm not here willing to listen at any time.... talk to me! ;-)
It has taken me almost 40 years (OMG seriously am I going to be 40?!?) but I am just now starting to be ok with myself-how I look- not worrying about whether I am skinny or fat-have the "right" clothes or drive a cool car. Because I feel like as long as I am a good person, everything else will be good too. And I am trying really hard to be a good person. And you are a good person, strike that, a GREAT person!
So feel fantastic about yourself because you are pretty fantastic. Great mom, great wife, great daughter, great sister, and a great friend! And everything else is not a big dill...
And you know how much I love the ring because I have it too! And it is awesome!